I seem to have found myself another Shannon
another icon.

how *do* i manage so?  it seems i can
 spot a hopeless romance from
  miles
and pounce on it.

interpose myself
 expertly
  where i'm not wanted
where no shred of love grows

but careful affection?
 regard, respect?
  friendship even.
i am expert at transforming what i find.

all i want is someone to love me.
 (which i have)
  someone who will not devour me
   (which i don't)

i am the man i am the ruler i am the light i am the way
 i need to assert declare proclaim
  myself.
i need me.  me.  me.  me again.
 (i've lost my way.)

love does not need devour
  does it?
   mustn't be hopeless
    must it?

i seem to chose one of two
  to be loved, and lose identity
   to be unloved, and love in vain.
somehow i never lose myself when i am alone.
                 -- csa, 4-jun-1999, 4:24am

[on finding myself torn between unrequited and devouring loves]