You flinched when I touched you
 drew back when I patted your head
We hugged without warmth
 You looked surprised when I brushed your back.

Devastatingly attractive in your starched men's shirt
 I told you I'd missed you and you asked, "Why?"
Groping for an answer -- "I just do" -- you smiled
 Merciful fates!
But the grin was far off, through glass seen,
 darkened.

People made you nervous, and you stared as if
 terrified
That I'd (gasp) caress you in view of your friends
 (subtle coward i, of course, did not dare)

We sat on opposite table-sides, untouching, me
 quarantined from your friends
and we talked carefully, formally,
 in low voices pretending.

As dinner ended I took my leave,
 obvious I should not linger;
but still I draped jacket over arm
 instead of wearing it
vainly hoping for a single more intimate moment
 away from the friends who draped you in shame.

But only another cold cautious hug was forthcoming
 actually two --
the first dropped hastily as someone
 passed by in the hall.

I put on my jacket and left
 wondering the reasons for your guilt-filled reactions
wondering if I could have always been wrong
 if I was the only one stillborn in love.

At home, a new acquaintance
 asked for a date.
                                      -- CSA, 13-apr-2000. 7:40pm.