I cannot feel myself.
Disconnected I float
far from pain.
Tethered leashed harnessed
Unable to escape.
Pain makes me numb.

Close clenched teeth
Hurt inward pulled
Pinpick condensation
Astral I die.

Nothing escapes
No watcher suspects
Screaming I keep
Hidden.
Gnawing at my soul.

I cannot scream.
I cannot fight.
I cannot release.
Repression makes one strong.
I walk alone.

Futile I
Waste effort on
self.
Sacrificing the
victim
seven times over.

I do not yell.
Others, I think
have learned secret
explosion.

I implode upon myself.

No one knows.
No one suspects.

----------------------------------------------

Withdrawn.
Walk alone with
Pain.
I curl upon myself.

----------------------------------------------

Removed
right at the moment of
Grasping.

I learn selflessness.

----------------------------------------------

Beginning not to feel
I scratch the wound again.
I wish one thing:
earth's sudden removal.
Timid raised hand:
may I go home, Ms. Bloomfield?
I feel sick.

No hole is large enough
for me to hide.

----------------------------------------------
     - CSA 2/6/98